I've been feeling really off lately - depressed, negative, not well, lacking energy - and I need to do something about it. So I was thinking, why not start wearing nicotine patches? That way I won't smell like a smoker, but I'll get all the positive benefits of nicotine!

I think this is one of my better ideas, but Godfrey doesn't seem to think so. He hasn't said anything to dissuade me yet, so I may be picking up a box of these little gems this weekend.