Do you pronounce cicada "chiquita"? I think that's the way it should be pronounced. Those bugs need something to increase their cute factor. The things are horrific! I'm surprised they aren't down here, but then there's probably no more room for disgusting bugs in Florida. I mean, from an ecological standpoint, there is no room at the inn down here for another disgusting-looking insect. Plus if you tried to bury yourself here, you'd hit water after the first inch of digging. So not a good move.

I heard some scientist talking about how brilliant it was that these bugs bury themselves for 17 years. It doesn't sound too smart to me. First of all, your clothes are going to be tremendously out of date. Those cicidas probably emerged wearing day glow colors and Duran Duran t-shirts, and they probably had Pat Benatar haircuts (or mullets for the guys). Plus they are hopelessly clueless when in comes to current events. Think about it, these bugs have no clue about the Internet! And they did this to mate? They somehow thought that going underground for 17 years would be a good strategy? So they've been buried since Reagan was president, they come out from a hole in the ground - and they think they're going to get laid? I don't think so! If I was single, and some guy started hitting on me looking like that and with no up-to-date conversation ("So, how about that 'Star Wars' missle defense plan?")...no, just not happening.

And these cicidas (chiquitas) sound like phasers from the original Star Trek! I'm pretty sure that each phaser issued to Kirk and Spock had one of those ugly things in it. In fact, I think the cicidas can shot laser beams. How else do you explain a bug that ugly? Nature designs things that way for a reason. If a creature is yellow or red, that means danger - and if it's extra ugly, it means stay the hell away, it has laser beam capability!

Well, the arrival of the cicidas proves that the terrorists have won. See for yourself: