There's something depressing about seeing a TJ Maxx go skank. I dragged Godfrey off to look for pants at our local Maxx (Maxx for the Minimum, Never the Same Place Twice, You Should Go - am I a slave to catch-phrases or what?). It was crowded, the lady running the dressing rooms was wasted (she acted like it - she had that barfly look going), they had nothing cool in housewares, everything was chaotic and out of place. Time was out of joint. It was a shopping disaster.

And here I digress to discuss clothes shopping with Godfrey. He absolutely hates it. I have to remind myself that he's not mad at me, he's just not happy with spending time in a store that doesn't sell DVDs or computer equipment. But here's the astounding thing about men's clothes - they use this amazing system of measurement, where pants are sized by waist and inseam, rather than the vague notion of random numerical sizes. Thus, by simply trying on a couple of pairs of pants, he was able to determine what his size was. Then - get this - we foraged through the clothes racks to find these pants, and he didn't try them on, and yet they fit. Here's how it went:

Me: "Here's some pants in your size. Why don't you go try them on?"
Him: (Looking quite cranky, like a wet cat)"No. I don't need to."
Me: "But...how do you know they will fit?"
Him: "Because they are my size. Now let's get out of here!"

And they fit perfectly! Whereas we women have to contend with sizes that vary by manufacturer, and not to mention our various in and out curvy bits that aren't taken into consideration by most designers - argh!

So anyway, back to the Maxxes. Once a TJ Maxx goes skank, there's no hope for recovery. I've seen it happen before, it's quite sad. So I will have to patronize the Maxx near the Citadel of Despair. I went in there yesterday and they had these two foot tall ancient Egyptian statues, and steamer trunks, and plush towels, and great lamps, and this way-cool porcelain bathroom trashcan with a bee and Laurel wreath claiming to be the property of some French hotel, and gorgeous wine glasses, and cool lamps, and a coffee mug with classic Alice in Wonderland illustrations...I had to flee before I bought it all. It's so tragic to have no money and find cool stuff. So, RIP, now-skank TJ Maxx up the street from my house. You will be missed, but it's a nightmare finding parking in your lot anyway.