The Cleveland Indians just can't win, at least when it comes to their name. The team's official history claims that the name was chosen in 1915 to honor a Native American named Louis Sockalexis, who had played for them briefly when they were known as the Cleveland Spiders. Many Native Americans and anti-racism activists dispute that assertion, calling it historical revisionism and charging that the name was chosen for exploitative purposes.
The Indians' mascot, Chief Wahoo, is another point of vociferous contention; although beloved by Indians fans, he is reviled by activists as a highly offensive, racist stereotype.
Let's face it, there's never going to be a solution that will please everybody. Native American activists don't want the team named after their people, and they consider Chief Wahoo to be an obscene caricature of Native Americans. The owners (and fans) of the baseball team don't want to change their name or give up their mascot.
Lowell Weicker, while governor of Connecticut, was reputed to have commented that a fair solution is one that upsets everybody equally. In the spirit of fairness, then, I present my proposal for settling the dispute over the Cleveland Indians and Chief Wahoo.
Please be aware that this is a facetious parody, and does not necessarily reflect the author's actual views on the matter. If you're easily offended, have no sense of humor, or already expect to be angry because this is a touchy subject for you, then please don't bother watching it. If you want to complain, just click the Complain! button at the bottom of this page.
View the Proposal
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